Home > observations > “It’s the only picture we have of him,” said his widow

“It’s the only picture we have of him,” said his widow

October 24, 2007

Background:  As a former photographer I know all too well the reaction some individuals have against having their picture taken.  At family gatherings and professional studios alike, they complain bitterly, imagining the negative feelings they will have when seeing photos of themselves. Snapshots of them often show nothing more than a blurry head, turning away.

When working professionally I knew it was far more important to connect with such individuals and let them be at ease, than any merely technical aspect of picture taking.  When people refer to a “good” picture of their loved one, they do not mean it has correct exposure and sharp focus; they mean the facial expression is as they prefer to remember that person. 

That expression seldom corresponds to the forced smile of a studio picture, which is why I preferred event photography to studio work.  The difference is what a person is “there to do”.  At a studio, they are “there” to have their picture taken – a process they very much dislike.  At a wedding or reunion, their main purpose is to socialize.  At such events, working without flash and drawing as little attention to my camera as possible I could often produce the only “good” picture ever taken of a camera-phobic person.

This evening I was throwing out some old junk from that time.  One of my services was copying antique photographs using archival-quality materials.  People brought in everything from daguerreotypes to faded color pictures from the 1970’s.  The box I was riffling through contained overprints and test prints to be pitched.  A 5×7 picture triggered the memory…

“It’s the only picture we have of him”, said his widow, handing me his drivers’ license. “I know it isn’t much, but can you get a copy from it?”  He didn’t look a day over 50.

This was in pre-digital days, when the Polaroid license photo machine imaged through the lens directly onto the final piece of paper that would be laminated and carried.  The thick plastic laminate was badly scratched, obscuring the picture beneath.

“Sure,” I said.  I knew how much detail Polaroid photos often preserved.

I cleaned the license and immersed it in a tray of Photo-Flo, a photographic rinsing agent.  Laying the tray on my copy stand I positioned the lights, waited for the liquid to become perfectly still, and made a crystal-clear negative of the image beneath.  The family was thrilled with the result and I wound up making several 5x7prints.

For what it’s worth, here’s my take on having your picture taken.  Your face does not completely belong to you; it belongs in some respects to the people who love you.  It is a reminder of you when you are apart, and perhaps a conduit for comforting memories when you are gone. 

Yes, there are annoying aspects to having your picture taken, and some family members can be real pests about it.  But nobody’s perfect, so try to forgive them and just relax.  Pretend they aren’t there and just try to enjoy yourself.  In the long run, it becomes a meaningful gift that no one realizes unless it isn’t there.

Now some advice for photographers: turn off your flash.  Practice using your camera until you don’t have to fiddle with it, and practice squeezing off your shots so you can get a steady shot even in low light.  Once you can use your camera unconsciously, you can pay more attention to the people in front of you.  The trick to getting good people shots is anticipation – use your knowledge of behavior to intersect the moment you want to record, with the opening of the shutter.  You see the moment developing and as it is about to happen the camera is coming up to your eye. This is what Henri Cartier-Bresson called “The Decisive Moment”.

Categories: observations
  1. October 24, 2007 at 09:26 | #1

    Yes, there are annoying aspects to having your picture taken, and some family members can be real pests about it.  But nobody’s perfect, so try to forgive them and just relax.  Pretend they aren’t there and just try to enjoy yourself.  In the long run, it becomes a meaningful gift that no one realizes unless it isn’t there.

    That was very beautifully stated. This post in general brought up a flurry of memories of family occasions. Thank you.

  2. james old guy
    October 24, 2007 at 10:21 | #2

    I have a lot of old pictures passed down from my mothers side of the family. Some of them have little notes on the back telling who these people are. The vast majority don’t, I know these people were important to someone, but now they are just faces. The people who knew who they were are long since gone. A little bit of history is lost.

  3. Ted
    October 24, 2007 at 12:34 | #3

    I have a Canon A-1. Loved that camera because when you pressed that shutter, you knew it was going to work as long as you had the settings right.

    Not so with the digitals. I press the button, and it does its series of checks that sometime take too long; it’s unpredictable between the press and shutter action. Sure, I can still get some good pictures, but with it, the policy is to take pictures by the 100s because not all will work.

    With the A-1, it just about always worked.

    Meh—that’s the trade off you get for instant gratification and progress.

  4. Ted
    October 24, 2007 at 14:01 | #4

    Cartier-Bresson believed that what went on beneath the surface was nobody’s business but his own. He did recall that he once confided his innermost secrets to a Paris taxi driver, certain that he would never meet the man again.

    That’s pretty cool. He could have trolled the blogs for a similar fix.

    Of course, these days the Taxicab Confessions would have outed his tawdry secrets, but I suppose that taxicab confessions have been a cultural staple since taxicabs existed.

  5. October 24, 2007 at 21:49 | #5

    As the guy who usually has the camera, I don’t have a lot of pictures of myself.  Which is a shame, because I’m fascinated by how I look to others (hence, probably, my blog decor), since it’s so different from how I see myself (in my mind or in a mirror).

    I agree with all your advice—flashes are serious no-nos unless it is unavoidable, and candids almost always improve on posed pictures.

    The other, most important piece of photographic advice I ever got, which the digital age has finally made practical for most people: You know how to take one good picture?  Shoot a dozen lousy ones.

  6. December 31, 2007 at 19:09 | #6

    Sometimes if you only have one bad quality image of value, it is worth using every possible trick to make it the best it can be.  eg if the picture is blurred.  It is surprising what can be done here, see picturesolve.com

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