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Jesus returns, is crucified again

October 14, 2005

You may have encountered Kent Ashcraft as the author of the brutal internet zinger; “Letter to Dr. Laura”  (Snopes says the authorship is uncertain but I know Kent and he is the author).  I am fortunate enough to be on his mailing list and here is his latest:

Another News Flash:
- by Kent Ashcraft

GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA, Oct. 13 (AP) Jesus Christ, 35, a detainee at the Camp Echo facility, was reportedly hung from a wooden cross yesterday until he was dead. Pentagon spokesman Gen. Jack D. Ripper issued the following statement: “We have a strict policy of not torturing detainees. But what you have to remember is that these are all bad people down there. Terrorists only understand one language, and I can tell you it ain’t English.”

Guantanamo base commander Colonel P.P. Pilate assured reporters that he would get to the bottom of this incident. “We have reason to believe this was the work of a few rogue guards. I wash my hands of the whole affair.”

Two friends of Christ, who would only give their names as Peter and Thomas, were saddened but not surprised. “We told him he was asking for trouble by talking so much about peace,” said Peter. “And he didn’t help the situation by telling everyone he met that the rich should give their money to the poor, that we should question authority, and not judge people. That just isn’t a good idea today.”

Whe asked whether their friend might have been anti-American, Thomas said, “I doubt it. But when he ran into the Halliburton lobby and started turning over tables, that was bound to give people the wrong impression.”

Asked whether this particular detainee might have been unjustly imprisoned, Gen. Ripper’s response was “Why do you hate freedom so much?”

I especially like this piece because it highlights an important weakness in our anti-terrorism strategy; the loss of moral high ground.  We are not going to win this battle with guns.

Categories: Geeky, observations
  1. WeeDram
    October 14, 2005 at 18:08 | #1

    Right on, brothers.

  2. Frumpa
    October 25, 2005 at 05:10 | #2

    your never gonna win this battle full stop! – So when Osama finally gets dragged into custody and George stands on the deck of U.S.S ######## and proclaims “the war on terror(tm) is over!”,whats going to happen the following week? – well its easy to guess it aint gonna be love and peace,but probably a record amount of bombs going off.
    In fact,the cynic in me figures the whole reason they named it TWOT is so they can keep the thing going adnausem;keep the war machine moving,keep military spending up and keep on culling the poor (i.e where your soldiers usually derive from)

  3. oldgreek
    October 26, 2005 at 11:41 | #3

    oldgreek-visitor from SEB

  4. Avarice
    October 28, 2005 at 13:40 | #4

    I personally think that America lost the moral highground a long time ago. 

    And the patriot act?  America is fighting for democracy in the wrong places:
    1)  Low poll attendance in America
    2)  Reduced civil liberties in America
    3)  A centralized power base in America

    I say a centralized power base because it seems that American politics are fought between a few powerful lobbies and families.  It seems disproportionate that one family has a senator, president, and former president.  Likewise the Kennedy’s are a powerful family.  The oil lobby is a powerful force.  There does not really seem to be much grass roots representation in American politics.

    I would say that if America were really keen to fight for democracy they would start at home.

  5. April 12, 2006 at 16:14 | #5

    i think america lost it a long time ago. people say bush is doing the damage but hes just a scapegoat. modern goverments are increasingly turrning into machines for moving public money to private induviduals. this works by goverment funding of, say, haliburton to build an army base, haliburton respond by funding election campaigns, so the party that promises to get rid of corporate tax and diverts the most public money to corporaitions is going to have the most campaign funding is going to win the election.
    thank god i live in britain

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