Home > Uncategorized > Correlation between lawn care and campaign signs

Correlation between lawn care and campaign signs

October 19, 2010

Riding home every day for many years I’ve had a chance to observe certain correlations.  For instance, the homes with biologically diverse lawns (green plants that can be mowed can stay) usually have Democrat or Green Party signs on them.  Maybe they don’t like chemicals, or their kids and pets use the lawn for actual playing, but they have better things to do than train real grass to look like fake grass.  There are also a few houses on the avenue that have ludicrously neat lawns.  They always have Republican signs on them.

One house had a completely monocultural lawn, mowed each week on geometrically perfect alternate diagnonals. Once it got a different species of grass in it, and the guy who lived there actually put Roundup on his entire yard and then replanted it in a single species.  His signs were always Republican.  He eventually retired or moved away or died or something and the new residents are letting the lawn return to being just an ordinary lawn.  They have no political signs at all.

The yard next to it is a study in yard-care perfection.  I think the grass is edged by laser beam, and even the flowers have to stand at attention. The guy who lives there had Alan Keyes signs up when it was Keyes vs. Obama for Illinois Senate.  And in the last presidential race, he had multiple McCain/Palin signs. Today, more Republican signs.

The apparently perfect lawn at the next house went mysteriously brown last month – every blade at once, so maybe he was also punishing all the blades of grass for a few sinners in their midst.  Then today it sported a lovely coat of brand new turf.  I wonder why he doesn’t just use Astroturf and be done with it.  Maybe it’s too hard to stick Republican campaign signs through plastic.

I also wonder if any candidate could be stupid or loony enough to turn them aside.  Do lawn chemicals affect the brain?

I confess that I’ve chuckled at the thought of tossing wildflower seeds on their lawns as I go by, but only at the thought.  The actual deed, if anyone really did it, wouldn’t be funny.  The lawn, like their signs, is their personal expression.  Pranks shouldn’t actually damage stuff or mess with someone’s expression.

Disclaimer: although the correlation in my “study” is 100%, it’s an awfully small sample size: just three blocks of one street in one Midwestern town.  So it means exactly diddly, but I thought it was amusing.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. October 19, 2010 at 03:33 | #1

    There have been many changes on the Avenue in the last couple years. One man died, his widow moved to Assisted Living housing.
    Another couple decided the big house was too much property, and moved to a lovely retirement village where someone else does lawncare. I bought a couple old books at their garage sale.
    I’m sure the mister has already voiced his opinion about upkeep, in between his rounds of golf.

    It’s too sad that the price of those historic district houses remains so high. Changes in the neighborhood could be welcome.

  2. October 20, 2010 at 01:54 | #2

    The front lawn of my future house? 100% rocks with some landscaping for trees but zero grass to mow. For some reason I like trees that afford climbing, chilling, and a study of life sciences. My side yards, probably rocks too with maybe a stone path back. The back yard, most likely astro turf, but depends if companies can make the stuff soft enough for kids and/or people to play on.

    I can’t stand grass. It’s so completely stupid, pointless, and a waste of resources. One of my managers was proud of the fact that he completely pulled up his entire lawn, put down fresh dirt, put down compost/mulch mixture of some kind, laid new sod, aerated, fertilized, and watered his lawn. Took him like 10-12 hours, probably cost right around what I make in a month or more, but “looks amazing.”

    This was a major foot in mouth exercise for me. I mean holy shit what a waste. For something, that in the grand scheme of things, is completely pointless.

  3. October 21, 2010 at 17:36 | #3

    Around here, you see very few yard signs in peoples’ yards. Most are planted by the dozen along highways. I’ve always wondered how influential they could be under the circumstances.

    Of course, given the way my yard looks, I can’t imagine that any candidate would be flattered to have his yard sign in it.

  4. Random poster
    October 24, 2010 at 19:50 | #4

    Wow! Ran across your blog while doing some work-related research. You have no profile, so I don’t know who you are, but you have a very cool blog….Anyway we returned from a weekend away last week to find someone had plonked a democrat sign into our unkempt front lawn, only someone else had already torn it apart and left it for dead. All without our knowledge or consent, either the placing or the vandalism.

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