Correlation between lawn care and campaign signs
Riding home every day for many years I’ve had a chance to observe certain correlations. For instance, the homes with biologically diverse lawns (green plants that can be mowed can stay) usually have Democrat or Green Party signs on them. Maybe they don’t like chemicals, or their kids and pets use the lawn for actual playing, but they have better things to do than train real grass to look like fake grass. There are also a few houses on the avenue that have ludicrously neat lawns. They always have Republican signs on them.
One house had a completely monocultural lawn, mowed each week on geometrically perfect alternate diagnonals. Once it got a different species of grass in it, and the guy who lived there actually put Roundup on his entire yard and then replanted it in a single species. His signs were always Republican. He eventually retired or moved away or died or something and the new residents are letting the lawn return to being just an ordinary lawn. They have no political signs at all.
The yard next to it is a study in yard-care perfection. I think the grass is edged by laser beam, and even the flowers have to stand at attention. The guy who lives there had Alan Keyes signs up when it was Keyes vs. Obama for Illinois Senate. And in the last presidential race, he had multiple McCain/Palin signs. Today, more Republican signs.
The apparently perfect lawn at the next house went mysteriously brown last month – every blade at once, so maybe he was also punishing all the blades of grass for a few sinners in their midst. Then today it sported a lovely coat of brand new turf. I wonder why he doesn’t just use Astroturf and be done with it. Maybe it’s too hard to stick Republican campaign signs through plastic.
I also wonder if any candidate could be stupid or loony enough to turn them aside. Do lawn chemicals affect the brain?
I confess that I’ve chuckled at the thought of tossing wildflower seeds on their lawns as I go by, but only at the thought. The actual deed, if anyone really did it, wouldn’t be funny. The lawn, like their signs, is their personal expression. Pranks shouldn’t actually damage stuff or mess with someone’s expression.
Disclaimer: although the correlation in my “study” is 100%, it’s an awfully small sample size: just three blocks of one street in one Midwestern town. So it means exactly diddly, but I thought it was amusing.