Home > Uncategorized > Time for a new Wall Of Irony

Time for a new Wall Of Irony

December 31, 2008

Here’s about three years of amusing clippings on the cabinet doors next to our fridge.  You can see the December ‘08 calendar on the fridge door. 

Recently we realized that new clippings weren’t going up on the wall because there wasn’t a lot of room. So today for a fresh start, we took all the clippings down. There’s lots of assorted weird stuff.  Here are some newspaper headlines, starting with a section devoted to our Governor, Rod Blagojevich:

  • High schoolers may be required to volunteer (With a pic of gov. bighair, who is apparently unclear on the concept of “volunteer”)
  • Governor to outline plan to attract nurses  (Maybe he’s been working out?)
  • Governor renews gun Battle  (Maybe he needs lessons from Dick Cheney)
  • General assembly gets into sewer fight (A better description of Illinois politics you will not find.  Maybe Obama only wanted to be president to get away from Illinois)

And some general-purpose amusing headlines:

  • Sting finds meth (Oh, please Sting, get help!  I love your records!)
  • Chicago Woman has Obama’s ear
  • Special guide: What to know before you vote (and on the line below…) Plus: can going bankrupt help?
  • Looking for meaning in life after TV
  • In this study, prayers aren’t the answer
  • Burger King’s new breakfast sandwich loaded with calories  (Sounds like an Onion headline)
  • Campus protects against Mad Cow (Capitalizing the ‘Mad Cow’ as if it were a proper noun conjures images of an attacking rock group or something
  • God told Paul Hill to whack a guy?  (Leonard Pitts, Jr. column about an abortion doctor killer)
  • Earth to planet Abstinence; send us your donuts (Pitts again, responding to James Dobson’s critcism of Colin Powell’s statement that we need comprehensive sex education.  On the planet where abstinence-only sex education works, do donuts make you lose weight?)

And then a few assorted weird labels:

  • Spinach is a documented SuperFood! (Popeye, pick up the white courtesy phone)
  • The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Past Life Regression  (What other kind of guide to past-life regression could there be?)
  • COCAINE TOOTHACHE DROPS, Instantaneous cure! (1885 patent medicine ad)

Lots of comics too – Brewster Rockit, 9 Chickweed Lane, Frazz, Boondocks, Doonesbury, Get Fuzzy.

Man, that wall looks empty now…

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. December 31, 2008 at 22:45 | #1

    New Year, New Clippings?

    happy new year

  2. December 31, 2008 at 23:33 | #2

    New Year, New Clippings?

    Yep!  And a Happy New Year to you and yours as well!

  3. January 1, 2009 at 11:18 | #3

    Happy New Year George!

    I’m waiting for your thoughts on the Burris appointment…

  4. January 1, 2009 at 12:45 | #4

    Happy New Year to you Buridan!  Wait no more; I like Roland Burris, but I think Blago has done him irreparable harm by appointing him.  I just hope he does not travel to Washington on Tuesday to try to claim that seat – it would result in a nasty showdown.

    Burris is one of the cleaner Illinois politicians, which is a little like a polar bear trying to stay afloat with no ice for miles around. By all accounts he did a good job as comptroller, and as Illinois’ AG.  His less-attractive features include close association with Jesse Jackson and a quite hefty ego, which may be the reason he didn’t have the presence of mind to tell governor Bighair to bugger off.

  5. January 2, 2009 at 00:10 | #5

    The fact that he didn’t decline the appointment and then proclaimed ad-nauseum that he’ll fight any opposition plays perfectly into Blago’s sleaze machine. I just hope the Democrats don’t cave on this one but I’m not holding my breath.

    I’m beginning to think that the human species may in fact be a divine creation because no species this stupid could ever survive the selection effects of the evolutionary process.

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